Blog Posts

Why Ruth Bader Ginsburg Is My Role Model

by

We all need role models—people who inspire us and provide us with examples of how to live and be. These can be invisible mentors whom we never meet and only read about. Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Supreme Court Justice, is this kind of role model for me. Ruth Bader Ginsburg (RBG) is eighty-two years old and, as Gail Collins of the New York Times reports, she loves her work and, in spite of tremendous public pressure to retire, has no intention of “going anywhere any time soon.” I am not the only one who admires her for a determination to live her life on her own terms rather than succumb to social pressure to conform (and retire). She has developed a huge fan base, particularly among young women, complete with a blog and upcoming book about her entitled The Notorious RBG (a play on the name of the rapper Notorious B.I.G.). Let me count the ways that RBG inspires me:

  1. She is a pioneer and the first woman to do many of the things she did in her life.
  2. She lives her life on her own terms.
  3. She is physically fierce and works out at the gym with a trainer two times a week, along with daily stretches.
  4. She writes ferocious dissents against conservative decisions and is the leader of the Supreme Court’s dissident liberals.
  5. She is a survivor of colon cancer, pancreatic cancer, and heart disease.
  6. She has an overall energy level that is inspiring. For example, she explained to MSNBC’s Irin Carmon in an interview that the reason she dozed off during President Obama’s State of the Union address in January 2015 was that she had been up all night the night before writing an opinion. “My pen was hot,” she said by way of explanation.
I hope I will have the courage to live my life on my own terms when I am eighty-two and the energy to realize my goals at that stage of my life. She inspires me to keep going to the gym and exercising my mind as well as my body so that I can keep living fully. I am so pleased to have RBG as my role model. Who is your role model?   Photo Credit: Steve Petteway, Collection of the Supreme Court of the United States]]>

Where Are the GOP Women in Congress?

by

If you are like me, you’ve noticed that there are fewer Republican women than Democratic women in Congress and wondered why. In fact, the number of women in Congress has been steadily rising over the past twenty-five years, but close examination of the numbers reveals a difference between Democrats and Republicans. In a study recently published in the New York Times, the author, Derek Willis, found that the share of Democratic women in Congress has risen steadily to the current level of 33 percent, while representation by Republican women has been stagnant at roughly 10 percent. While only seventeen Republican women have ever served in the Senate, fourteen Democratic women are currently serving there. Why does this gap exist, and why is it important? The author suggests that “a root cause of the gap is that Democratic women who are potential congressional candidates tend to fit comfortably with the liberal ideology of their party’s primary voters, while many potential female Republican candidates do not adhere to the conservative ideology of their primary voters.” In other words, as the parties have become more polarized, the voters in the primaries have come to demand more and more ideological purity. In this environment, both moderate Republican men and women have declined to run because they cannot win. There are fewer highly conservative female candidates compared with male candidates. In fact, in state legislatures, a major pipeline for congressional candidates, conservative women are outnumbered five to one by conservative men. Given these numbers, the gap in congressional representation is likely to persist for some time to come. Why is this gap important? Willis notes that many studies show that “the presence of women in legislative bodies makes a difference, particularly on the policies that many female lawmakers prioritize, such as health care and children’s issues.” A recent study by the Center for American Women and Politics also found that many female legislators see themselves as representing women in general. For this reason, we need women in Congress from both parties to represent our views and, from time to time, to reach across the aisle to collaborate as they did in 2013 in the Senate to break the budget stalemate and avert a government shutdown. Let’s make sure we are all represented. The future of our country may depend on it.   Photo credit: U.S. Senate, 111th Congress, Senate Photo Studio  ]]>

Strategic Relationships at Work: Creating Your Circle of Mentors, Sponsors, and Peers for Success in Business and Life—A Book Review

by

Wendy Murphy and Kathy E. Kram have written an important book about why we all need developmental support networks for both career success and personal well-being—and how to develop those networks. The book is practical and easy to read, with lots of research-based examples and tips. Reflection activities at the end of each chapter encourage the reader to apply the concepts immediately to her own career and life. What I found most interesting were these points about mentoring that I had not considered: Formal and informal mentors. The authors reviewed scores of studies and conducted several of their own that revealed that having a formal mentor, often assigned in a workplace program, is valuable but not enough. We need a network of mentors, both formal and informal, to reach our goals and enable us to “cope with stress and thrive during times of change.” Trends in the changing nature of work. These trends require that we take charge of our career development and have multiple types and sources of mentoring. The authors identified the most significant trends as the following:

  1. Job mobility—it is not uncommon for people to work in multiple organizations during their working lives.
  2. Globalization—the world we live in is increasingly connected, and we need to keep learning from different people how to be effective across cultures and national boundaries.
  3. Technology—technology creates new challenges for how to both engage and disengage from work.
  4. Pace of change—the pace of change has become very fast and can be overwhelming. We need to be able to adapt and change continually.
Essential skills for developing your network. The authors note that the basic ingredients for developing a productive mentoring network are relationship-building skills. Core to relationship skills are self-awareness and social skills. Social skills include listening, giving and receiving feedback, empathy, conflict management, and the ability and willingness to share aspects of your story. Concrete suggestions for how to develop these skills are included in this book, as well as in Daniel Goleman’s book Social Intelligence: The New Science of Human Relationships. How to develop a mentor. The authors encourage readers to be proactive and reach out to people who are potential mentors. They suggest some steps to take in this process:
  1. Get clear about your own strengths and career goals. Select potential mentors who might know something or someone who could help you move forward on your path.
  2. Invite a potential mentor for coffee or lunch for an informational interview.
  3. Ask thought-provoking questions, such as the following:
    1. Could you tell me about your career path? How did you get to the position you are in today?
    2. What are the most important lessons you’ve learned from each promotion or change?
    3. What are the best and worst aspects of your current job? Of your current organization?
    4. How would you advise someone who wanted to follow a similar career path?
Types of mentors. A recent article in the Boston Globe suggests there are three kinds of informal mentors who meet different types of needs:
  1. The co-mentor—someone who is your equal with whom you can exchange skills, knowledge, and encouragement.
  2. The remote mentor—someone outside of your organization who can give you a fresh perspective.
  3. The invisible mentor—someone who you can learn from with little or no direct interaction. This can be a role model who inspires you and whom you may never meet in person.
Other tips. Diversity matters. Be intentional about developing informal mentoring relationships with people from different social contexts than your own. Broader perspectives can challenge your thinking and open up new networks for you. This book is worth spending some time with. Each career move and stage of life brings new challenges in choosing and navigating your path. Periodically update your mentoring network to keep it fresh and diverse so that you have the support you need throughout your life. We all need support.]]>

Next Steps for Connecting Across Differences

by

  • Identify the sides on your prism that are most relevant for you at this time in your life and career, keeping gender in the center. For example, I might ask myself how being a Jewish woman, white woman, US-born woman, and woman in my sixties are all currently impacting my experience. What is important for others to know about me as I turn the prism that reflects my wholeness?
  • Make a list of the sides of your prism. Reflect on how each side interacts with being a woman for you at this time in your life and career.
  • Become more curious and open to learning about the experiences of other women who are different. Listen to understand, and be willing to share your experience.
  • Make a connection once a month with someone from a different culture whom you don’t usually interact with. Cultural differences can include different employment levels, ages, races, nationalities, religions, and other differences.
  • Read the histories of other groups or watch movies about the experiences of women from different cultures, such as Real Women Have Curves.
    •   An excerpt from my book, New Rules for Women, available at Amazon (http://www.amazon.com/dp/0982056982/).]]>

    The Latina Wage Gap (It’s the Worst!): What Employers May Be Missing

    by

    latinaNew research from the University of Massachusetts Boston on workers in Massachusetts finds that while a gender wage gap exists across all occupations for women, the gap becomes a chasm for Hispanic women, especially for low-wage workers. Here are some facts from the research:

    • White women make 83 percent of what white men make in the same occupations.
    • Hispanic women make 56 percent of their male equivalents.
    More specifically, here are some numbers for low-wage workers:
    • Latinas who work as cleaners make 54 cents on the dollar compared to all male janitors and 59 cents compared to their Hispanic male counterparts.
    Ann Bookman, the study’s author, notes, “the earnings gap for women of color is wider than for women as a whole, and for Latina women it’s egregious.” The wage gap for Latinas is particularly damaging for mothers. Women are the primary breadwinners in slightly more than half of all Hispanic households in Massachusetts with children under eighteen. Of these female breadwinners, 49 percent are single mothers. Many of the research participants complained that they are seldom offered promotions when openings occur because they are not seen as having leadership potential. They also report difficulty in being considered for higher-paying jobs as single mothers because they are assumed to be unreliable. These assumptions reflect misunderstandings about Latina culture. Evangelina Holvino conducted research on Latinas and found eight cultural scripts that can be leveraged as strengths if employers understand them. Holvino defines cultural scripts as commonly held assumptions shared by a cultural group that are learned beliefs about how to be in the world. The eight scripts she discovered for Latinas are
    1. Familismo—valuing close family relations
    2. Simpatía—avoiding conflict and disharmony
    3. Colectivismo—putting the needs of the group before those of individuals
    4. Personalismo—forging meaningful and trusting relationships
    5. El presente—being in the here and now
    6. Respeto—respecting authority, age, and power
    7. Machismo-marianismo—strongly differentiated gender roles
    8. Espiritualismo—trusting in a higher power/being
    Holvino’s research offers us a way of understanding Latina cultural scripts as strengths that employers should appreciate and leverage. For example, instead of assuming that a single mother is unreliable, her value of familismo means that she is driven to work hard to support her family. She will do what it takes to perform well and keep her job. The scripts of simpatía, colectivismo, and personalismo give her an important leadership framework and capacity for building and leading teams.

    What Employers Can Do to Close the Wage Gap and Value Latinas in Their Workforce

    With these new wage-gap statistics and Holvino’s research in mind, here are some suggestions for employers:
    1. To begin with, employers can look closely for pay disparities by occupation in their organizations and make adjustments in pay to close the gaps. Pay disparities are often invisible and unscrutinized and reflect unconscious bias.
    2. Employers should become familiar with the cultural scripts, or cultural assumptions, that guide hiring and promotion decisions in their organizations. For example, the dominant criteria for leadership in Anglo culture, which focuses on valuing individual achievement and a direct communication style, runs counter to strengths in Latina culture.
    3. Employers can become familiar with Latina cultural scripts and develop appreciation for the value they can add.
    4. Employers can expand their definitions of leadership to include strengths in Latina cultural scripts, such as building relationships.
    Understanding and including cultural differences can enrich us all and add capacity to our organizations. And it’s past time to close the gender wage gap for everyone. Image credit: Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici at FreeDigitalPhotos.net  ]]>

    The Beauty Culture and Age: What’s Wrong with Christine Lagarde?

    by

    A coaching client recently asked me for the names of older women who are public figures and could be role models for her. She had just turned fifty years old and realized that her self-image was of a much younger woman, which was getting in her way professionally. She was struggling to “find her voice” and speak out more at work. Her boss had recently given her feedback that she was viewed as lacking confidence. Through reflection, she became aware that her self-talk, reflecting her “young self,” undermined her confidence by telling her that she did not know enough or had not yet earned the right to express her opinions. In addition to having a young self-image, she felt pressure to color her hair to hide the grey and to dress like a much younger woman, all of which may have reinforced her own perception, and the perception of others, that she was less experienced. The only woman in public life whom we could both think of, though, who embraces her age and is seen as powerful is Christine Lagarde. Christine Lagarde was appointed in 2011 to be the first woman to head the International Monetary Fund (IMF). She is fifty-nine years old and has beautiful white hair. She is a great role model for my client—she is confident, powerful, and attractive, and she embraces her age. Having role models as we age is important, especially in the United States, where our youth-focused culture can be dismissive and even discriminatory toward older women and older men in terms of hiring and promotions. While these economic challenges are real, feeling good about your life experience and having the confidence to draw from it to find your voice and demonstrate leadership presence is also important. I recommended that my client develop a ritual with her friends to embrace and celebrate her inner Chrone. She’s not a little girl or a young woman any more—she has wisdom to offer that she needs to embrace. What’s wrong with Christine Lagarde? Nothing. I’m sure she has critics and detractors, as all powerful people do, but she also has beautiful white hair, projects confidence and a strong leadership presence, and provides a great role model for women on many levels. Who are your role models?   Image credit: Image courtesy of International Monetary Fund

    ]]>

    Do You Worry about Your Appearance? What Is the Cost?

    by

    Women and girls in the United States, and in many other parts of the world, feel enormous pressure to look good to be both socially and professionally acceptable. Conforming to the beauty culture can require that women undergo and pay for botox injections and cosmetic surgeries on faces, breasts, tummies, buttocks, and thighs to either enhance or reduce the appearance of those body parts, along with expensive makeup, skin cream, and hair coloring to hide grey hair. And, of course, clothes and shoes are not cheap. While men also experience some pressure to attend to their appearance, it is nothing like the pressure on women. Where does this pressure come from? It comes from everywhere—from magazines, television, social media, the workplace, family, and peers.

    What Are the Costs?

    There are several ways to think about the costs of the pressure to conform to the beauty culture:
    1. Time and money—The most obvious costs are time and money. Mika Brzezinski, in her book, Knowing Your Value, talks about the pressure from both viewers and her employers to maintain an expensive wardrobe as a talk show host. She is expected to spend a significant percentage of her salary, without reimbursement, on clothes, while her co-host, Joe Scarborough, is not expected to do so. She is also required to arrive on set two hours before showtime for hair and makeup preparation. Since their show begins at 6 a.m., another cost for her is sleep, since Scarborough only has to roll in fifteen minutes before showtime to slap on a little face powder. Many women, in all walks of life, feel these same pressures to spend time and money that they may not be able to afford on their appearance.
    2. Health—Surgery always has risks. My niece, a beautiful young woman in her thirties, decided that she needed liposuction to remove fat from her stomach and thighs to improve her appearance. She got a postsurgical infection that became systemic and almost died. She survived but remains seriously scarred and disfigured. Medical complications can occur from any type of elective cosmetic surgery or treatment, including botox injections.
    3. Body Shame—Recent studies reported by Renee Engeln in the New York Times found that “fat talk” (public body disparagement, such as posting, “I’m so fat,” on social media) has become, “practically a ritual of womanhood.” One study found that more than 90 percent of college women reported engaging in fat talk even though only 9 percent were actually overweight. Fat talk is linked with body shame, which motivates unhealthy eating choices and, in the extreme, can result in eating disorders. This research also finds that fat talk is contagious. In other words, engaging in it may drag others down into body shame with you.
    4. Role Modeling—We give conflicting messages to the girls in our lives when we tell them that what matters is what’s in their hearts and minds, while at the same time we are spending a lot of time and money on our appearance. Actions speak louder than words.

    What Are Our Choices?

    There is a lot we don’t control as individuals. We cannot change the airbrushed sexist messages that advertisers bombard us with about how we are supposed to look. We don’t have much hope, as individuals, of changing the often unspoken influence of appearance on hiring and promotion decisions in the workplace. Peer pressure is hard to resist, without a doubt. But you can control your own behavior and make a difference:
    1. Find support. Having other women and men in your life who are willing to question the cost of participating in the beauty culture can help you make the best choices for yourself.
    2. Be a role model. What is the message that you want the girls and younger women in your life to receive about being girls and women? How can your choices reinforce that message?
    3. Stop engaging in fat talk.
    4. Join a book group. Many reading and discussion circles are forming in workplaces to raise awareness of diversity issues, including gender differences. You can form such a group if one does not exist. Many books and articles are available that you can read together to stimulate discussion.
    In my next article I will talk about the beauty culture and age, so watch for it! What are the pressures you face? What decisions have you made about participating in the beauty culture and why? What advice do you have for others?   Image credit: Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.net]]>