Next Steps for Supporting Women

Make a list that describes the characteristics of your ideal boss, in general. Then make a list that describes your ideal woman boss. Once you have your lists, compare them. What do you notice? What friendship rules might be operating for you with your ideal woman boss?

Be honest with yourself, and put a check mark by the statements below that apply to you. We have all participated in many of these behaviors at some point. Notice them as you go forward and challenge yourself to stop doing them. Have you ever

• Laughed at a joke told by a man at the expense of a woman?
• Assumed a woman got promoted because of whom she slept with?
• Assumed a woman got a job because of a quota?
• Talked about other women with men to be accepted as “one of the boys”?
• Said another woman was too sensitive about gender issues?
• Been more critical of women leaders than of men?
• Said, “I hate working for women”?
• Consciously undermined a woman leader?

Use the following scoring guide to reflect upon your answers:

1–2 checks = You are relatively supportive of other women. 3–4 checks = You are somewhat less supportive of other women. 5+ checks = You have a strong tendency to not be supportive of other women.

3. Notice your reflex to be critical or dismissive of other women, especially if they are successful. Ask a buddy to do this exercise with you. When you each notice the reflex to be critical or dismissive of other women, mark it down in a notebook or electronic notepad. Share your marks with each other weekly to help each other see patterns and raise your awareness.

  An excerpt from my book, New Rules for Women, available at Amazon (http://www.amazon.com/dp/0982056982/).]]>