{"id":718,"date":"2015-06-18T09:00:27","date_gmt":"2015-06-18T13:00:27","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/annelitwin.com\/?p=718"},"modified":"2015-06-18T09:00:27","modified_gmt":"2015-06-18T13:00:27","slug":"career-sabotage-part-3","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.annelitwin.com\/blog\/blog-posts\/career-sabotage-part-3\/","title":{"rendered":"Career Sabotage – Part 3"},"content":{"rendered":"

\t\t\t\tWhen I worked in the emergency department, I was in charge\u00a0every night\u2014and the people who worked with me enjoyed me\u00a0being in charge, or at least that was what was said to me. I had\u00a0beautiful reviews and had some great pals, many of whom were\u00a0at my wedding.\nFast-forward about five years, and I have now decided to\u00a0leave my management position to go back to the emergency\u00a0department. So I talked to the emergency department manager,\u00a0who has been a friend of mine for twenty-five years. About\u00a0three weeks into the process, when I hadn\u2019t heard anything, I\u00a0went back to my friend who was the manager of the emergency\u00a0department and said, \u201cSo what\u2019s going on?\u201d She got this really\u00a0awful look on her face and she twitched\u2014and she was tripping\u00a0all over herself and said, \u201cYou\u2019d better talk to your boss.\u201d So I sit\u00a0down with my boss, who says to me, \u201cThere is a problem. They\u00a0don\u2019t want you there.\u201d You could have knocked me over with a\u00a0feather. She went on to say this one, this one, and this one\u2014my\u00a0friends, people who had been at my wedding\u2014had gone to their\u00a0bosses and said, \u201cWe don\u2019t want her.\u201d\nI was shocked. We would go out after work together; we\u00a0would talk to each other on days off. Sometimes I would help\u00a0them out with babysitting or they would help me. If I had any\u00a0kind of a party or get-together, they were first on my list to\u00a0invite. They were the people I laughed with at work; they were\u00a0the people I cried with at work. They were there through my\u00a0divorce, through a terribly tough time in my life. Why would my\u00a0friends turn on me like that? That they would stab a friend in the\u00a0back for no apparent reason for their own selfish gain? Well the\u00a0bottom line was, they were afraid that I was going to usurp their\u00a0perceived position.<\/blockquote>\n\n\nKeri\u2019s story is an example of the impact of mixing friendship\u00a0expectations with the hierarchical norms of masculine work\u00a0environments, which can trigger horizontal violence. In such cases,\u00a0acts of covert career aggression can leave the recipient feeling not only\u00a0bewildered but shocked when it happens. Career aggression can also\u00a0damage a woman\u2019s self-confidence. Angella, a diplomatic services\u00a0manager in Mexico, explained that \u201cWhen someone is saying bad\u00a0things about you, after a while you start to feel that maybe the bad\u00a0things are true.\u201d\n \nAn excerpt from my book,\u00a0New Rules for Women<\/em>, available at Amazon (http:\/\/www.amazon.com\/dp\/0982056982\/<\/a>).]]>\t\t<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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