\t\t\t\tI walked in and there were two of the women that were in my\u00a0group walking ahead of me. I said, \u201cOh, hey\u2014how are you guys?\u201d\u00a0And they kind of looked over their shoulder and gave me this\u00a0look, with that curl in their lip and roll in their eyes. They got on\u00a0the elevator and as the doors closed, one of them said, \u201cWe\u2019re\u00a0going to get coffee\u201d\u2014click\u2014and the door closed in my face.<\/p>\n\n\nAs seen above, indirect aggression includes both verbal and nonverbal\u00a0covert behaviors that could seem innocuous but are intended to hurt.\u00a0They can include not only the use of body language, such as eye rolling,\u00a0but also silence, as demonstrated in the story from another white nurse\u00a0in her fifties, Janet, about her interactions with other women at work:\n\n\n
I\u2019d go up to talk with them about something, and they\u2019d all pick\u00a0up the phone and pretend they were talking. So, for the longest\u00a0time, I thought, \u201cGod, they\u2019re on the phone a lot!\u201d You know, it\u00a0was just a smoke and mirrors kind of thing\u2014and I was brand\u00a0new to the organization, a lot younger than them, and they\u00a0certainly weren\u2019t going to let me in.<\/p>\n\n\nSmoke and mirrors\u2014now add to this another thread in indirect\u00a0aggression\u2014denial. One example of denial in the adolescent-girl literature\u00a0includes this description by a ninth grader: \u201cLast week, I asked my friend\u00a0why she was mad at me\u2014I had no idea why\u2014and she said, \u2018I\u2019m not mad\u00a0at you.\u2019 Right then I knew she was mad at me.\u201d\n \nAn excerpt from my book,\u00a0New Rules for Women<\/em>, available at Amazon (http:\/\/www.amazon.com\/dp\/0982056982\/<\/a>).]]>\t\t<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" \t\t\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3,4],"tags":[116,169,222,225,248,418,612],"class_list":["post-699","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-blog-posts","category-excerpt","tag-competition","tag-emotions","tag-friendship-rules","tag-gender","tag-girls","tag-new-rules","tag-women"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.annelitwin.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/699","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.annelitwin.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.annelitwin.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.annelitwin.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.annelitwin.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=699"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.annelitwin.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/699\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.annelitwin.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=699"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.annelitwin.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=699"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.annelitwin.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=699"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}