{"id":639,"date":"2015-04-02T09:00:08","date_gmt":"2015-04-02T13:00:08","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/annelitwin.com\/?p=639"},"modified":"2015-04-02T09:00:08","modified_gmt":"2015-04-02T13:00:08","slug":"how-relational-courage-saved-a-friendship","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.annelitwin.com\/blog\/blog-posts\/how-relational-courage-saved-a-friendship\/","title":{"rendered":"How Relational Courage Saved a Friendship"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>\t\t\t\t<![CDATA[Here is a story of how relational courage worked to save a friendship.\nTwo women friends, Molly and Julie, came to me for help because after years of being close colleagues and personal friends, a misunderstanding had occurred and they were both deeply hurt by the behaviors of the other during a series of events. They had tried to talk about it themselves, but they were not able to make progress and were feeling quite stuck.\nThey reached out for help with the hope of being able to stay friends, but a lot of distance had developed between them by the time they called me. They both reported feeling fearful of attending the session because what they might say or hear could create additional injury and because the session might fail to save the relationship and they would have to face the fact that it was over. It took relational courage for both of them to even show up.\nI proposed a structure and process for the session, a tool that is described in detail in the next section of this chapter that allowed each woman to listen really deeply to the other, to feel heard by the other, and to acknowledge her part in creating the other\u2019s hurt. Each person learned something new about the impact of her behavior on the other. Each had a chance to say \u201cI get it. I\u2019m sorry\u201d in her own way and in her own time. We were able to create something that RCT scholars call \u201cmutual empathy.\u201d It worked to heal the relationship.\n&nbsp;\nAn excerpt from my book,\u00a0<em>New Rules for Women<\/em>, available at Amazon (<a href=\"http:\/\/www.amazon.com\/dp\/0982056982\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">http:\/\/www.amazon.com\/dp\/0982056982\/<\/a>).]]>\t\t<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>\t\t\t\t<![CDATA[]]>\t\t<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3,4],"tags":[169,207,222,418,612,634],"class_list":["post-639","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-blog-posts","category-excerpt","tag-emotions","tag-feminine-values","tag-friendship-rules","tag-new-rules","tag-women","tag-workplace"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.annelitwin.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/639","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.annelitwin.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.annelitwin.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.annelitwin.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.annelitwin.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=639"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.annelitwin.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/639\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.annelitwin.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=639"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.annelitwin.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=639"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.annelitwin.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=639"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}