{"id":519,"date":"2014-11-06T10:00:25","date_gmt":"2014-11-06T14:00:25","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/annelitwin.com\/?p=519"},"modified":"2014-11-06T10:00:25","modified_gmt":"2014-11-06T14:00:25","slug":"the-double-bind-facing-female-bosses","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.annelitwin.com\/blog\/blog-posts\/the-double-bind-facing-female-bosses\/","title":{"rendered":"The Double Bind Facing Female Bosses"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>\t\t\t\t<![CDATA[Shantel, a white American technology supervisor in her\u00a0forties, explained that she has a natural masculine style that can create\u00a0problems for her with female employees. \u201cIf you come in and seem too\u00a0cool and not interested, that can be a disadvantage,\u201d she explained. She\u00a0has been told by her manager that she has to do more to increase morale\u00a0among her female team members because they complain about her style\u00a0and don\u2019t like working for her. Shantel feels that she will have to chat more\u00a0with the women to raise morale because they \u201cvalue chatting,\u201d which she\u00a0isn\u2019t thrilled about but she will have to take the time to do\u2014something\u00a0not expected from her male peers.\nLike Shantel, many women come into the workplace with a masculine\u00a0style that fits nicely with masculine workplace values but can run afoul\u00a0of women\u2019s friendship rules. Women with a masculine style may not\u00a0feel comfortable chatting, or self-disclosing and asking about someone\u00a0else\u2019s family or outside life. Many of these women, especially if they are\u00a0not parents, find it as difficult to engage in conversations with women\u00a0about their children as they do to talk about football with the men in\u00a0the office. In addition, cultural differences might mean that sharing or\u00a0asking someone else to share personal information in the workplace\u00a0is not comfortable.\nFor example, Sonja, a technology manager from\u00a0the Middle East who is in her forties, explained that asking personal questions is not acceptable for anyone in her culture. She might tell a coworker something personal if she or he doesn\u2019t ask, \u201cbut if you ask me, I\u2019m not going to tell you,\u201d she said. This is another way in which\u2014when we leave our friendship rules unspoken\u2014we could be wrong about how\u00a0we interpret another woman\u2019s behavior and thereby limit our working relationship.\n&nbsp;\nAn excerpt from my book,\u00a0<em>New Rules for Women<\/em>, available at Amazon (<a href=\"http:\/\/www.amazon.com\/dp\/0982056982\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">http:\/\/www.amazon.com\/dp\/0982056982\/<\/a>).]]>\t\t<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>\t\t\t\t<![CDATA[]]>\t\t<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3,4],"tags":[149,169,207,222,418,612,634],"class_list":["post-519","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-blog-posts","category-excerpt","tag-double-bind","tag-emotions","tag-feminine-values","tag-friendship-rules","tag-new-rules","tag-women","tag-workplace"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.annelitwin.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/519","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.annelitwin.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.annelitwin.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.annelitwin.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.annelitwin.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=519"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.annelitwin.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/519\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.annelitwin.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=519"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.annelitwin.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=519"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.annelitwin.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=519"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}